Stupid things NOT to say at work

I do not know why people think it's OK to say these things. But here's a list of things you should definitely not say at work:

1. When someone politely asks "how are you?" Please do not say "sleepy". WTF!?! you want to get laid off??
2. Do not curse at work! Its crass.
3. Do not gossip about other co-workers. If someone else is gossiping and you are there listen and if your opinion is solicited say something considerate don't add fuel to the fire! (these people are not your bum chums but work colleagues! there is a reason why people say do not mix business with pleasure)
4. If your having an affair with a co-worker tell HR but not me! I do not care and do not want to know. Makes it weird when i speak to the other person, i now have strange mental images I could have spent my life without envisioning.
5. Do not talk loudly, or laugh loudly. There are other people at work, trying to do their jobs. Be polite and get a conference room or an enclave.
6. Do not dish out TMI about your personal life or your health issues or your femine biology. I am pretending to care but quiet honestly unless your my friend, or I know you personally I do not care and am hoping and praying that you stop SOON.

If you have more things not to do. Let me know.