me, myself and I

So I'm in a weird phase. I want to do nothing but I am searching for something. It seems I am trying to find a purpose in life (that sounds so deep!). But I'm not a very deep person, more a kiddy-pool really.
I am very happy go lucky, and just kind of go where life takes me. I make a decision and just follow it through, regardless of what happens along the way. (I never said I was simple ;) )
I procrastinate, A LOT!
I can draw and sketch. Never held a paint brush, but in my mind I can paint. I'll have to try painting and get back on that.
I worry about the small things, I believe the little things in life can make or break a person's day. The big things, I can just belt up and get through them; for some reason the big things don't phase me out that much ( how bizarre is that?)
Look at all this rambling and all the "I"'s (narcissistic much?)...
I mean I honestly have no idea as to what I currently want. I've graduated college. I have a job, a good job. I even have a small business. I have a great family (most of who I love).
Yet, I'm alone. Why? and I what do want more off?
I have no clue, I mean I even have a dog (who I also love)! Is this a midlife crisis? I'm not even 30 yet? or am I getting all crazy because I'm approaching 30? That's crazy I've been planning my 30th birthday for the last 5 years and the gift list too!
I still feel lost. Maybe it will come to me, I just need to get out of this fog.

So you have a job. How do you keep it?

Every day I sit in meetings and cringe as I see people step into land mines. Its not like i work in the army, but anyone who has worked is aware of office politics.
Now its not like office politics is lethal it can just cost you your job or get you rolled off a project.
And since in today's economy jobs are a dime a dozen who cares. Lets just say what we have to say and show everyone how deserving we are.

So you went to the meeting. It was pointless. Your colleague was just saying stuff that wanted to make you poke your eye out. What do you do? You correct your colleague and very aggressively because well, that's what every job article says you do to make your boss notice you.
So now that you've proven you know your stuff, your intelligent, and showed up that stupid colleague of yours. Now what?

Ill tell you now what. Now people think you are argumentative and actually bond by bitching about you.
I have actually done this. I have managed to become bum-chums with my current project manager just by bashing a colleague that upstaged her in a meeting.
Even though my colleague is more experience than me, he now reports under me. Why? Office politics. (you have to play politics at work if you don't your not important enough yet.)

So that's what i will write about everyday. All five working days because believe it or not most people are just naive and put themselves in a spot to be the scape goat ( there always is one).
And then they wonder why they were overlooked for the promotion which they deserved.